The world is hard. We need each other.
I have a friend that we have an unwritten code in our friendship that it’s okay to call and vent. Without ever saying it out loud, we have given each other permission to fall apart.
Sometimes we try to fix or patch each other up but most times we simply listen and say “That’s tough.” We remind each other we aren’t going crazy. And when we are crazy, we remind each other, we won’t stay that way.
We’ve been on the phone with each other a lot lately.
We need each other and are blessed to have each other in our lives.
Do you have that person? Are you that person?
Give the People in your Life Permission to Fall Apart
Give your friends and family permission to fall apart. Including the little ones and the in-between ones.
You don’t have to say it in words. You say it in your actions.
Stay and sit down instead of walking away.
Notice and acknowledge their emotion.
Remain silent and close.
Don’t be afraid of tears. They are simply the juice that leaks out when the pressure is too high.
Hold off spinning a bright side for a bit.
It’s a thing with humans, we are more apt to let someone walk us into the light, when they’ve taken the time to sit with us in the dark. The deepest friendships are curated in the dark of life.
When someone you love is falling apart, you don’t have to piece them together.
You just have to be willing to stay there. That’s a tough job for the problem-solvers and the make-everything-betters. But it’s a learnable skill.
Be patient with the struggle. It’s the patience of watching a chick break free from a shell. To help it, is to destroy it’s chance at growing strong enough to survive in the world.
Butterflies pulled out of the cocoon, die.
Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend that what they need is you.
You, witnessing their crazy thoughts and ugly emotions, and still being able to stay with loving intent. They need you – ready and willing to carry a little of their hurt.
Their stuff isn’t too big for you.
To Those Falling Apart
Hearing what life is doing to you is not a burden for us.
You are not a burden.
When you hide your emotions, you hide your self and we never get to fully know you.
You will always be lonely if you keep all that hidden.
You will never feel known and loved.
You are not too much.
Your stuff is not too heavy.
Together we can get through this.
Feel free to forward this to someone who needs to know you’re there for them.
Trish White is a counsellor in Saskatoon, SK who has the privilege of seeing people who’ve fallen apart, come back together again.