Psalm 23 Day One: You Are Not Alone
The Lord is my shepherd. Psalm 23:1
DAY ONE: I Am Not Alone
“The Lord is my Shepherd.“
One of the hallmarks of trauma is that whatever you were going through, big or small, catastrophic or minimal, there is a sense that you are alone.
How many times have you told yourself,
”No one understands.”
“People just don’t get it.”
”I’m alone in this.”
Painful circumstances whisper to us that no one understands. There is no one that can help. You are alone.
This Psalms starts with the posture that those isolating thoughts are not the full truth.
It’s true that your unique set of circumstances is different than most people.
But it is not true that no one can relate.
We all struggle with a level of brokenness, some absolutely worse than others but everyone has been close to hurt. We’ve fallen. Skin has been broken. Hearts have been hurt.
Several years ago I attended a masterfully delivered comedy routine by the Chonda Pierce. She had us laughing so hard our stomachs hurt. She then dropped an emotional bomb that silenced the room. She slid into her hilarious story that shortly after the death of her sister, her dad left.
That emotional bomb silenced the room. Our gut-wrenching laughs spilled out in painful tears. Collectively, we cried, grasping for tissues or the hand of the one we came with.
I, too, wept ugly face tears yet my dad had never walked out on us. I’m sure few of us had experienced her devastating reality but there in that auditorium we shared in her hurt.
The right people do get it.
I have witnessed the incredible bonding that takes place when women who have experienced the heart shattering experience of betrayal trauma get in a room together.
Women, who can no longer bear trivial conversations about minor spousal slights quickly realize that their darkest moments are equaled or eclipsed by other precious women in the room. And indelible bonds form, binding wounded hearts together.
The right people do get it. There are people capable of understanding.
So why do we tell ourselves that no one understands?
I think it is a clever way for our mind to try to protect us. If no one understands, If no one “gets it”, then I am justified in not reaching out to find those who could walk me through this.
I suspect our well meaning mind is trying to protect us from any risk of being hurt again.
Pushing people away wrongly assumes, you will no longer be hurt.
The right people do get it and will respond with nurturing empathy. There are other humans that can help hold your pain.
But that is not where we start.
Let us back up to the beginning.
This Psalm begins with a gentle reminder that even if you are in that state where you don’t feel you can let anyone into your pain, the Good Shepherd is already there.
Already present to your suffering.
Already leading you.
Feeding you.
Guiding you.
Protecting you.
Caring for your needs.
When no one is there, He already is.
When the darkness is darkest, “even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalm 139:12
This entire journey is dependent on positioning yourself as one who is not alone but who is being watched and cared for by an attentive, loving Father.
Even if you have never known what it is to have an attentive, loving father, you instinctively know what it should be like. The basic desire is written on our heart and wired into our briand. . Your heart knows when you are not cherished.
We know when love and care are absent even when it’s never been present.
For some of you, this may be the hardest, as well as, the most soul reassuring posture to adopt.
You are not alone.
When your mind tries to isolate and protect you from the people around you, recognize it and lean toward this truth:
You have a Shepherd of your soul who is watching over you.
He has seen every thing that has happened to you.
Yes, even the smallest of hurts. Psalms 56:8 says, He has seen every tear and collected them.” Witnessing your crying also reminds us that the things that made you cry were not of his making.
Furthermore, He has a plan to make that right in the end. Rev. 21:4 tells us of a time when “He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.”
But that is then. This is now.
One of things I find myself saying over and over is “Whatever you believe, your brain looks for proof.”
If you believe you are alone, when people say well meaning things such as “I can’t imagine what you are going through.” The aloneness increases. It drives a wedge that what you are going through is too dark, too heavy, too complex or too terrifying for anyone to try to understand.
I love the story told by Miriam Toews in “A Truce That is not Peace” about a young mother whose child died of cancer. When people said a version of “I can’t image what you are going through.” She wouldn’t let the conversation end there. Instead of circling back into her own pain, she’d say to the well meaning friend, “Try! Stay! Stay with me!” Courageously inviting people into the journey with her.
God knows it is not good for you to be alone and the first thing He offers is himself. You were created to walk with him in the cool of the evening. (Gen 3:8)
You were designed for connection. His longing is, and has always been, to know you.
Listen to these verses:
Psalm 139:1-4 – You perceive my thoughts from afar…Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.”
Psalm 139: 13 For you create my inmost being; you knit me together together in my mother’s womb;
Isaiah 43:1 – I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.
These are not written by a God who stands at a distance watching you struggle in this dark world, hoping you’ll make it.
These are the words of a God who wants to guide you through this.
Your shepherd.
Journal Prompts:
1. When do you struggle with feeling the most alone in your life circumstances?
2. When was the last time you let yourself boldly cry without holding the tears or the noise back? If those tears could communicate what are they saying?
3. What shifts when you think of a loving Shepherd guiding and caring for you?
4. Does it raise any “then why…” questions? Write those down.
5. What emotions were present as you read this?
Prayer
Lord, thank you for shepherding me.
I admit there are times when I can’t see it and question what you are up to.
I confess my desire to want to isolate and not only push people away but push you away also.
Help me to grow in my trust of you.
Amen
Trish White
Counsellor/Pastor
Fellow traveler in this messy world aiming to inspire, encourage, and nuture.