Psalm 23 Day Three: Rest - It Can Wait
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul. Psalm 23:2,3
Day 3: Rest. It can Wait
I deal with a lot of highly capable people in my counselling practice. Skilled, accomplished, excellent parents, amazing athletes and top business people. They successfully manage so many areas of their life. They can juggle their schedule, their finances and their families. They invite challenges and smash their goals. Yet the hardest wall they run into is when they are asked, or required, to slow down and take it easy. Their first inclination is to try harder, learn more, or work longer.
But it is not a sickness limited to high achievers. There are so many games and streaming services and opportunities, every one of us can pack our days from dawn to dusk and never attend to our frenzied nervous systems.
Today’s verse speaks wisdom:
“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.” Psalm 23:2,3
Modern science has made a study of trauma healing and it seems no matter which expert you confer with they all seem to agree – you cannot heal when you are rushed and frenzied.
You cannot heal when you are rushed and frenzied.
Stephen Porges, the Founder of Polyvagal Theory, explains that healing happens when the nervous system no longer believes it is under threat. You don’t have to run or hide any more. Many of you feel you have been run over by a bus, but that itself isn’t the worst part long term. In the long run, your nervous system is activated into reacting like the bus is still chasing you. Endlessly trying to run you over again and again. The triggers in your mind and body react like this is our reality.
Other experts agree. Peter Levine of Somatic Experiencing agrees that we must restore regulation gradually.
Gabor Mate in When the Body Says No repeatedly points out the body cannot heal when chronically stressed.
Bessel van der Kolk of The Body Keeps the Score explains that trauma dysregulates the autonomic nervous system and keeps us chronically activated. Our autonomic nervous system is the system that regulates our heart rate, digestion, breathing and body temperature. These systems can get stuck responding in ways as though the threat is still happening.
Our heart races.
Our breathing quickens.
We break out in a sweat or shake with cold.
Our stomach aches and guts churn unable to digest the sustenance it has been given.
Your nervous system is reacting like the bus that ran over you in the past is still chasing you.
All of us have experienced this a time or two perhaps when we have had to speak in public. It’s a normal part of living. We were meant to challenge our minds and bodies and then rest to heal and rejuvenate. What isn’t normal is getting stuck there and findIng ourselves in the survival responses of fight, flight, freeze or fawn/fix when there is no clear threat.
We rage in traffic (fight) when someone cuts us off. (No it’s not a real threat.)
We withdraw into our smartphone (flight) instead of engaging with the person we love. (They are our most important people, what are we doing?!?)
We binge watch our favourite streaming service (freeze) to avoid that work we are dreading.
We overwork ourselves to manage the people around us (fawn/fix) so they don’t get upset or get distant or any number of negative things.
So modern science and experts agree.
But there is one more.
The God that created your body and all the integrated systems long before our modern frenzy offered an invitation. ”Hey friend, let me lead you to where the water is quiet and refreshing. Let me teach you how to rest grounded and secure. Your soul needs refreshing.”
When was the last time your soul felt refreshed? Do you even know the two or three things that bring refreshing?
Why is that so hard for us?
I wish I had the answer but my confession is it took we a couple years after purchasing to get to John Mark Comer’s book “The Ruthless of Elimination of Hurry.” I’d bought it on audio book so i could listen while I do other things like run or drive. I always listen to my books and podcasts on 1.25 or 1.5 speed which felt incongruous to the title of the book.
One of the many take aways from that book is this: “Love, joy, and peace are at the heart of all Jesus is trying to grow in the soil of your life. But all three are incompatible with hurry.” – John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry;
If you have been activated and are dealing with the survival instincts of Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn (I prefer ‘Fix’), healing can not happen without rest. Its a corner stone to all trauma or mental health healing. There is not one of though who doesn’t need the heed the call to slow down and rest. In our everyday lives, we were designed in such a way that we need activity and stimulation where are mind and body are pushed but we also need quiet and stillness where it quietly goes about the work of healing that which was torn apart in our activities.
Alex Howard states in, “It’s Not Your Fault” “…for any therapeutic work to be effective – let alone for them to feel able to open to their hidden and unprocessed emotions – they must feel safe.”
“Healing doesn’t happen when we force ourselves harder. It happens when we create enough safety for our bodies to come out of survival mode.’ Aundi Kolber Try Softer.
Safe enough to be led.
Safe enough to lie down.
Your Shepherd knows this. He knows that for you to heal from the traumas of this dark world you must first stop running.
What if you believed you were safe enough to be led...safe enough to lie down.
In this moment, perhaps you are safer than your nervous system believes.
You can rest.
Everything can wait.
Journal Prompts or Ponderings
- What are you afraid of will happen if you rest?
- When you do rest, do memories or emotions come up? What are they? Or what are you afraid will pop up? Write them down.
- Do you know two or three things that refresh your soul?
This is an individual thing.
For some it is getting out for a walk.For others walks feel threatening.
For some it is a luxurious hot bath. For others, their minds start spinning when they are in the tub.
For some it is reading. For others they’d rather go to the dentist than read.
Your struggle is unique to you and your healing moments will be unique too. What I do know, is over time, as you stop and listen, you will begin to notice the small pockets that feel truly restorative.
Experiment with things related to senses:
Smells – candles, essential oils;
Tastes – warm or cool? Sweet or spicy?;
Touch – soft blankets, fresh grass, water;
Sound – music, birds, water;
Sight – nature walks, pictures of people you love;
See what works best for you.
“Healing doesn’t happen when we force ourselves harder. It happens when we create enough safety for our bodies to come out of survival mode.’ ~Aundi Kolber, Try Softer
Prayer:
Lord, thank your the gift of rest
.In our hurried world, we don’t know how to find true rest.
Forgive us for how we stay distracted and distanced from You.
Teach us how to be drawn to where there are quiet waters.
Show us what is refreshing for our souls.
Amen
