Psalm 23 Day Two: I Have Everything I Need
The Lord is my shepherd, I have everything I need. Psalm 23:1
Day 2: I Have Everything I Need
In our Day One study we acknowledged that we are not alone, we have a shepherd of our soul guiding us.
Another major mental hurdle we have to grapple with is we have what we need in this moment. Trauma can either have us living in a past bad moment or predicts the future that this is the way things are always going to be for the rest of our life.
This statement applies in two separate and important ways.
For all of us, we live in a world that makes a science out of convincing you you need one more thing. The algorithms are stacked against you. There is always another course, another gadget, another webinar that promises to solve your problems.
If you own a smart phone, you are well aware that expressing some interest in a topic with ricochet a barrage of targeted ads aimed at taking your money. Slowing down the assault of advertising is a discipline in the world we live in.
We can all benefit from recognizing we have enough. We don’t really need that next Amazon package. Choosing to live with what you have, eating the food stockpiled in your cupboards and freezer, and wearing what is already in our overstuffed closets is a counter cultural move. Taking a breath and stepping away from consumerism is a beautiful way to recognize what our souls are truly longing for.
Taking a breath and stepping away from consumerism is a beautiful way to recognize what our souls are truly longing for.
Michael Cusick in his book, “Surfing for God” states “If we seek on the physical level what can only be obtained on a spiritual level, then we set ourselves up for a never-ending cycle that only leads to desperation, despair and bondage.” (P. 15)
A Level Deeper.
But there is another whole level of depth that this phrase “I have what I need” speaks to.
For many of us it is a profound statement that speaks to our inner depths.
Many of the difficulties in our adult lives echo back to our childhoods. Every child needs food, clothing, shelter as well as to be taught appropriate boundaries, to be emotionally guided and to be loved for who we are. When those needs aren’t met one of two things happen: we either work to meet those needs for ourselves, sometimes in destructive ways, or we minimize or squelch that need completely.
Before we jump on the parent-blaming bus, it’s important to note that even the best of parents, who may be sacrificing their own lives to make life better for a child, cannot hope to meet all the needs of their child, every moment of every day of their life. This is especially true for those whose parents were never given the tools to know how to recognize and meet that need.
Many people I talk to in my counselling office quickly recite that they had a great childhood. They were clothed and fed, given an education and opportunities to play. They miss the crucial needs of appropriate boundaries, emotional guidance and validation and love for who they are as they are. Many of these lost needs hide in plain sight.
Many of these lost needs hide in plain sight.
Dr. Jonice Webb has researched Childhood Emotional Neglect and discusses it in her book, Running on Empty. “Childhood Emotional Neglect is not something that happens to a child. It’s something that fails to happen for a child.”— Jonice Webb, Running on Empty.
We know when physical abuse happens to us as a child. Most children instinctively know it is wrong. Emotional neglect is different. It is the air you are breathing as a child and you may not recognize that anything was wrong at the time.
“The most pernicious aspect of Childhood Emotional Neglect is that it’s invisible.”— Jonice Webb.
This is only one facet though of childhood. In a broader, eye-opening study is the work on Adverse Child Experiences.
Researchers Felitti and Anda found direct links between what happened to children and how it showed up in adulthood. They looked at 10 factors: physical, emotional and sexual abuse, physical and emotional neglect, and dysfunctions in the home: domestic violence, substance abuse in the home, mental illness in the home, parental separation/divorce, and having an incarcerated household member.
Each category was rated as 1 point toward an ACE score. They found the higher the ACE score the higher the risk for problems later in life.
This study showed the direct correlation between childhood adversity and adult mental and physical health problems. Higher ACE scores were linked to dramatically increased risk of depression, anxiety, addiction, suicide attempts, chronic disease, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, cancer, autoimmune issues, chronic pain and more.
Our unmet needs don’t go away, they either become the struggles in our life or often struggles with our health.
Onto this landscape of unmet needs steps an audacious proclamation, “The Lord is your shepherd. You have what you need.”
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Onto this landscape of unmet needs steps an audacious proclamation, "The Lord is your shephed. You have what you need."
How can that be when you are now awakened to the great holes of need left by your childhood?
Because you are an adult now. As a child you were dependent on a broken world to meet your needs. The very nature of childhood is you cannot provide for yourself and the needs of your life require responsible adults to be attentive.
As a child you were dependent on a broken world to meet your needs. Now, you are an adult.
Now, you are an adult. You are responsible for acknowledging and caring for your own needs.
You have to develop the skills to seek out your own resources.
Most importantly you can lean into the shepherd with the void of needs trusting he will guide you in filling that void.
To the one who experienced abuse, He alone is safety.
”Come to me all you who are weary and burdened. I will give rest for your soul.” Matthew 11:28
To the one who never had someone sit with them and say, “You look angry. What’s going on?” – He is available 24/7 to hear your cry,
“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” Psalm 145:18
Yes. You can be honest with Him about your anger.
To the one whose home was disrupted by some form of chaos, he states,
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart.” Isaiah 40:11
Friend, you have what you need. This does not mean you have everything you want, or that your pain suddenly disappears. It means that in this moment, you are not abandoned to heal alone.
When you let that truth break into your reality, what happens? Can you lean into the comfort of that?
As you move forward on this journey of healing, turn your eyes toward the ways your needs are currently being met.
Open your eyes to the reality that opportunities for healing are all around you
Journal Prompts or Ponderings
1. What adult struggle do you wrestle with that reflects an unmet childhood need?
Take a moment and stroll down memory lane. What childhood memories stand out and still elicit an emotional or bodily response. Write them down.
What were the unmet needs?
As a good parent, how can you meet the needs of that child today?
2. What do you turn to over and over? Can you give up that thing for a day? A week? A month? Or even an hour?
3. Where is it hardest to believe that you have what you need.
4. What makes it difficult to trust God with the hurts in your life.
Prayer:
Lord, we come to you broken, living in a broken world.
We know you didn’t create the world like this.
Forgive us where we have looked for other things to meet the needs of our lives.
We ask that today you would help us open those lifelong yearnings to you and press into believing that you care enough to help us meet those needs.
Give us rest for our weary souls.
Amen
