Psalm 13: Why Won't You Pick Up?
When God Seems Silent
A crisis is unfolding in front of me.
I am hiking alone and I have this haunting feeling that I am being watched.
I look back and see nothing. I quicken my pace.
My heart starts to race.
My chest tightens.
I stop dead in my tracks and then I see it. I am being stalked by an ominous black bear.
I grab my phone and it won’t turn on.
In panic I press buttons faster and faster. Slamming my fingers against the blank surface.
Eventually, it turns on but the buttons don’t seem to work.
It freezes. I panic more.
I get a wrong number.
I realize my battery is dying. The screen goes black.
I jolt awake.
I have had that recurring dream off and on throughout in my life. Sometimes it’s a bear. Sometimes it’s a baby or puppy in distress. Sometimes it’s an unknown enemy.
No matter the scenario. I can’t get through to receive the help I need.
My mind knows I'm safe before my body does.
The cold-sweat panic doesn’t immediately alleviate once I wake up.
I have to remind myself-often several times- that there is no crisis.
I’m safe.
No bear. Children are grown and responsible for their whereabouts.
Breathing normally again takes time.
My mind knows I’m safe long before that registers in my body.
Our Psalm today reminds me of this type of panic.
Psalm 13 (NIV):
1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
Lament isn't the opposite of faith. Lament is what faith does when life and what we believe about God doesn't seem to match.
The Psalmist starts his prayer with a cry out to God. In the opening phrases he questions God numerous times:
How long?
How long will you forget me?
How long will you hide?
How long will my thoughts torment me?
How long will I carry this sorrow?
How long will I feel defeated?
I am sure you can relate with at least one of those questions. It is not a statement of “God this hurts.” It’s a cry that this has been going on for way too long.
The first thing I want to emphasize:
Along with so many Psalms, permission is given to question God.
God knows the world we live in is full of trouble. We can complain to our neighbours, friends and family about the state of the world and the harshness of our circumstance but this Psalmist models what we should do with our complaints. And this Psalm demonstrates that He doesn’t just tolerate our questions, He had them written down to be used as a prayer.
He is inviting you to take that discouragement, despair and questioning to Him.
God is listening, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
He is present even when we feel He is hiding.
We used to play our game with our dogs where I would lure them into the kitchen with me while the kids scattered to hide. I would then release them to find where the hiding places were.
One of our dogs, a Keeshond named Orlando, was a master at this game. While they waited with me, his ears would twitch this way and that as he recognized the squeak from the third stair, the scrape of a closet door or a swish of a shower curtain. Our other dog, bless her heart, a beautiful retired show dog Sheltie, seemed oblivious. You could sit on a chair in her path and, if you held up a book to cover your face, she couldn’t find you. She would trot on past like she was engaged in this game but seemed clueless of the goal.
Our God is not like that. You can hide and be assured, he knows exactly where you are. He’s paying attention.
Dan Allender in The Cry of the Soul states: Despair looks at the world and says, “I have no hope. Things are not going to get better. “They can’t get worse, but they will constantly stay at the same low. Any indication that they might get better is an illusion. Therefore, I must not allow myself to hope again, because I will only be bitterly disappointed.” P. 124
Our psalmist gives us an alternative path forward. He doesn’t minimize or dismiss what he is feeling. Those feelings are valid, but he also finds a path forward in Vs. 5 & 6.
Feeling unable to find God is not the same thing as being unseen by God.
The author has poured out his present feelings then he moves on to what he knows for sure.
He asks.
He doesn’t minimize his struggles.
He doesn’t lie about how he is feeling.
He doesnt put on a mask that everything is all right.
He states it and then asks for what he wants: “Give light to my eyes.” Things were dark for him.
There are two things we need to remember that depression and despair do to us. First, it magnifies the problem. It can make it seem impossible and impassible. Secondly, it underestimates your strength and resilience. In light of what you are facing your capacity to endure may feel impossibly small. We must remember these two things. They don’t eradicate how you are feeling – both can be true and held together.
Depression and despair magnifies the problem and minimizes your strength and resilience.
He Trusts
Despite what he is feeling in the moment, he reengages in his trust of God, “I trust in your unfailing love” vs. 5.
When we join our life with Jesus, we enter a covenant - an agreement.
We promise to trust and He promises everlasting love.
The writer falls back on this. It is like a spouse, after an argument, that although they aren’t feeling the love at the moment, this is someone they are committed to and love.While his emotional experience is telling him something different, he is anchoring himself in what he knows is true about God.
He Rejoices
He rejoices. This seems like an extreme pivot but it is a good reminder. Humans are complex and in the middle of grief, despair and sadness, we can find pockets of joy. Small reasons to rejoice - the sunlight coming through the window, a new leaf on the houseplant, the smell of rain, the warmth of a cozy blanket. It is a training of our brain to look for the good and the beautiful. This Psalm showed that we don’t just pivot to the positive, we instead hold both together. Nothing is ever all good or all bad.
He Sings
He sings. “I will sing the Lord’s Praise”. It’s an ancient reminder that we now know has a scientific base. Singing stimulates our Vagus nerve that sends calming signals through our body. Humming has the same effect. Apparently gargling does too…but it’s not near as socially acceptable.Have you ever been somewhere and someone was singing or humming? It can completely change the mood in that space. That happened one day at Superstore, with my cart piled with groceries, and 3 littles in tow. I stopped in the entrance in dismay to see snow pumelling the parking lot. The site blanketed my mood as I dreaded the cold and how hard it was going to be to just get everyone and everything through the slush to the vehicle. As I started to make sure no one had lost their shoes in the store and their coats were zipped - a beautiful voice filled the space. I don’t know what she was singing as she stood with her full cart waiting for her ride, but it changed the mood in the space. One of my littles started dancing and the stress immediately alleviated. What a blessing that lady’s response was.
He Remembers
He remembers, “For He has been good to me.” Notice when the Psalmist starts he is expressing his present feelings. In the end the verb tense has changed and he is remembering the faithfulness of God in the past.
Journal Prompts or Ponderings:
Write a prayer today using the psalmists outline.
- How are you feeling? When you are being honest with God how would you express yourself? Where is the tension in your body? What thoughts trouble you? What emotions are present?
- Ask: What do you want from God?
- Rejoice: When you look around you, right where you are, what are some reasons to rejoice. Can you find things that bring joy?
- Sing: Choose a song. Find a song that means something to you or that you like the tune of. When your heart and mind head into dark areas today, practice singing or humming that song.
- Remember: Can you remember times in the past when you experienced God’s goodness. What are those times?
Prayer:
Lord, thank you that you had words recorded in the Bible that express what we feel.
Thank you that you are a God who listens when we cry and hears when we call.
Give light to our eyes today.
Where there is darkness in our world may we see glimmers of You.
Today we choose to sing.
Today we choose to remember.
Today we choose to thank You for Your goodness.
Amen
